Whitney:
how was the bbq that you and lo threw for audrina?
LC:
i mean, she wasn't there for very much of it.
Whitney:
lo wasn't there, or audrina wasn't there?
LC:
loooooooooo
Whitney:
she didn't want to be a part of it?
LC:
it was really awkward for her to be there, and she's trying, you know? and i feel bad cuz i love lo and i'm really like making her jump through hoops for audrina, and she just, she doesn't owe audrina anything.
Whitney:
no. not at all.
LC:
so like, lo went upstaaaaaiiiiiiiiirs.
Whitney:
and just like shut herself out from the party.
LC:
and like, i needed like, another team member there.
this doesn’t make her a better person, just because she can recognize her stupidity. but its pretty funny.
25 Things You Don’t Know About Me: Ellen DeGeneres
Ellen DeGeneres, 52, (catch her on American Idol Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays on Fox. For The Ellen DeGeneres Show, check local listings) shares the 25 things you don’t know about her with UsMagazine.com.
1. I lived in my car for a short time. Wait: I’m thinking of Jewel. 2. The only reason I am not a professional ice skater is that I am not a good ice skater. 3. I want to live without regrets. 4. I am always early. (Which means you are always late.) 5. I’ve never had any dance training. 6. I’m married to the second luckiest woman on the planet. And she’s married to the first! 7. I only learned to text last year. LOL. 8. I used to sell vacuum cleaners. 9. I love to move. I’ve lived in five houses over the past seven years. 10. I played tennis in high school. 11. I have an older brother. 12. My first car was a hand-me-down from my mother: a bright-yellow Vega. 13. I can control Anderson Cooper’s thoughts with my mind. Usually I think, Anderson, wear a tight T-shirt. 14. I love reality TV. For someone who’s never been interested in a bachelor, I am fascinated. 15. I listen to Eckhart Tolle CDs when I’m driving. I wish he was the voice of my navigation system. 16. I only make left turns. 17. I’m fluent in Na’vi. 18. I sometimes use my poker face in backgammon. But I have a completely different go fish face. 19. I’ve been running the L.A. marathon for five years. Someday I’m gonna finish it. 20. I didn’t go to no college. 21. I love watches. And no matter where I am, I keep my watch set to the Mountain Time Zone. 22. I don’t eat meat, and I don’t drink anything with the word nog in it. 23. If I buy one pair of shoes from Payless, my next will be free. 24. I’ve named the fish in my pond. (They are Charlotte, Hermit, Almost Pretty — Pretty passed away and we got another that’s not quite as pretty but similar — Sarah Jessica Parker, Anyway, Prince, Michael Jackson, Phil, Linda, Patch, Bubbles and Bubbles’ stand-in.) 25. If there’s anything else you want to know about me, Google me.
Me:
I wish I spoke spanish. When I go to casinos, all the mexicans are talking to each other like they're friends and what not. I get all lonely. The other Asians are all angry and greedy and they get mad when you talk to them.
Customer 1:
You don't learn from all the spanish here?
Me:
No. All I know is Mira!.
Customer 2:
NOOO You know more than that!
Me:
Okay, I know uno, dos, tres, and Naranja.
Customer 3:
Naranja??
Me:
Yes, Naranja.
Customer 1:
How?
Me:
All the mexican customers either want "de coffee" " de coke" or "De naranja" and once I asked the drink girl what naranja was and she said it was Orange.
Customer 2:
The reason why you hear them say Naranja is because they are asking other mexicans to be orange pickers for their orchards.
now that’s what i’m talkin bout: future gay hubbie already knows my drink! [slip on promise ring] i boughts me some pre-made thai iced tea in chinatown today, and gots me a taiwense at home to whip up the boba. domesticated and ready for you baby boy!
p.s.
i think we’re from the same womb. even tho we’re gettin married. but you know us gays…always livin’ up the PERV stero. but really mark, i fucking love you. and you should know our firstborn’s name WILL be boba. thought you knew.
![oh-its-mark:
Thai iced tea kills starbucks
now that’s what i’m talkin bout: future gay hubbie already knows my drink! [slip on promise ring] i boughts me some pre-made thai iced tea in chinatown today, and gots me a taiwense at home to whip up the boba. domesticated and ready for you baby boy!
p.s.
i think we’re from the same womb. even tho we’re gettin married. but you know us gays…always livin’ up the PERV stero. but really mark, i fucking love you. and you should know our firstborn’s name WILL be boba. thought you knew.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kyokooVRVE1qzi03go1_500.jpg)
